Room Sharing
Thinking of having your kiddos share a room? Adding to the family and running out of room, literally? Worried about that transition? Look no further, here are some tips and tricks to set up room sharing for success!
The number one “rule” with room sharing is to make sure that each child is a good sleeper. What makes a good sleeper? A child who can sleep through the night without interventions from us. We want to ensure a restful night for both children and if one still wakes up, needs intervening, etc. that makes it hard for the other one. It can create unneeded stress for the entire family system. So first and foremost, my recommendation is to wait until you have two good sleepers before merging them to one room.
Never underestimate the value of prep! Kids thrive on predictability and consistency. It makes them feel secure. Prep them for this new change and get them excited! You could do a countdown to the room sharing. For example, make a countdown calendar and put on your fridge. Countdown until they get to share a room. Do this a week out. Build the momentum and excitement! Explain the expectations. Go over them with your children so they understand the expectations when sharing a room. Another tip would be to make a social story. Essentially write out the expectations of the room sharing and share with your child. Children love books and this is a nice way to learn. Make it simple. Pull up a word document, type 1-2 sentences on a page, paired with a picture, and let the book explain the rules and new normal of room sharing.
Focus on creating space in the room. Divide the room up (best you can) so that each child has their own space. The further apart they can be, the better. It will help to eliminate extra play time and lower the amount of noise they each hear. Do not stress this part, some rooms are not big enough for ample space. Regardless, give each child space in the room that is just theirs. It will help to empower them to enjoy their new shared space and still have some independence.
Speaking of noise… One of the biggest concerns people share with me is the worry that one child will wake the other. I get it, that is a very valid worry and may happen. Especially at first, we need to give this new adventure time and patience. Adding an additional sound machine to the room can help. More white noise, the better. I also love the idea of each child having their own sound machine or better yet a toddler clock/sound machine combo. My favorite is The Hatch light.
How do you minimize extra play and rowdiness at bedtime? Sometimes it can be helpful to stagger the bedtimes. Put the younger child down first and then the older one about 30 mins or so later. This is in hopes that the younger one is already asleep when the older once comes in. This works particularly well when you have a child in a crib and one in a bed. Sometimes two older children may have similar bedtimes and this won’t work as well. Regardless, remind them to stay in their beds and be quiet at bedtime.
Practice makes perfect. More like practice can help to shape the new behavior and be more successful in this change. Role play with your children during play time about sharing a room. Show them the correct way to do it. Practicing during playtime helps them learn in a fun way. It reinforces the rules and expectations without sounding like you are just lecturing. That can do the opposite and have the kids rebel against the rules. Pretend play is a fun way to go over the new expectations.
What about nap/rest time? Sharing a room during this time can be more difficult. Day time sleep is much harder then night time sleep. If possible, it might be a good idea to separate the two children for the day time sleep. This especially makes sense if one child naps and the other does quiet time. Now, do not get me wrong, some kids are great with room sharing for both nap and night time sleep. However, if this becomes a challenge there is no harm in separating the kids for nap/rest time.
Room sharing can feel daunting and overwhelming. How does this even work? Can it really work at all? I am here to tell you yes! I have so many clients whose children room share and they are very successful! I will say that it takes prep, time and patience. So deep breaths, prep as best you can and give it lots of time to gel.